Night 4 of 8 VS. hate. Lighting up the fourth candle of Chanukah and the two candles of Shabbat = sending a ray of light to the darkness of loneliness, where shame lives, and the broken hearted. Every light here matters.
this blog's context: 8vshate:why & how
Tonight's intention: Hello Darkness my old friend. Mid-way, mid-night over the Atlantic, the cabin lights are off, and only the flickers of small screens light up random faces. In this cozy darkness, with that-kind-of-romantic-drama-that-was-made-to-make-me-cry - I cry. Again. Secure in this darkness of anonymity, relishing the moment.
Look. I don't know who's reading this, not a whole lot of you if FB likes are any indication so I'll allow myself to follow through with my commitment to go private in public (and thus force myself do this) with 8 nights of shining a spotlight on the spots of darkness that need illumination in my life and the lives of others. So let's be honest here. I'm single right now and I don't like it. I used to. But now it's annoying and the dark truth is that even the lovely gesture of someone putting a hand on the hand of their lover in, say, an airport, reminds me of how it used to be and how I yearn for it again. I am not alone in this single solitude. So many with whom I share this sentiment come out as well - gay, straight, old, young, divorced, widowed, unlucky in love, etc. Somehow the digital age has given us so many options for connection but is also robbing us of real intimacy. Are we doing enough to help each other find love? Can we strike a match tonight to light a candle and take this match-making ritual to the next level?
I plan to. Tonight - mid way through Chanukah, lighting among many strangers at a the limmud UK conference 2011 somewhere in the middle of the UK, I will take a few minutes to think of those in my life who are lonely, for whatever reason and dedicate myself to what I can do about it: a phone call, email, smile, hug - even if to self. I'll think of ONE person who I want to help set up. Please do the same. Seriously, please ACTUALLY take a few minutes to think of one person in your life who is single and then go through your lists and gently kindly offer them a set up. You never know. Not unless we all try. Feel free to contact me for details...; )
My gift tonight is not a donation to a light agent in the world: It's a commitment to honoring the darkness and all and each and every phase of life - while celebrating the power of light and love to change it all for the better.
PS: Lit third candle at JFK, right after security - thanks to Binyamin, a lovely Chabad guy who didn't like that I added the matriarchs to the blessing but agreed that it wasn't the end of the world.. My first chabad of choice positive moment in a very long time if not ever. Sweet. Thank you Binyamin.